My sheets look like a crime scene.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
