ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
