hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
