We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
