Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
