the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
