you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
