Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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