ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
