don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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