Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
