I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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