I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
