...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
