you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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