So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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