i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
it was like his penis was on wheels.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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