Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
