dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
