i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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