My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
