i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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