i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Drake has all the answers
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
