And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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