Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
