i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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