we have officially lost it.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
