possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
