u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
