Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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