I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
