Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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