So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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