you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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