youre lurking in front of me
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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