i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
