My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
