is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
