i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
