I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
