We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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