I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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