im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
