so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
