He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
