I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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