i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
