I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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