i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
