You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
