I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
