hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
